Going to Grand Century to do anything is a hassle. I picked up some contacts and ordered more today, but they don't take my parents' insurance, so I have to pay and then have the insurance company pay us back. Blah blah blah. After going to the optometrist, I went into the mall to get my mom some nuoc mia. The guy charged me $8 for 2. After paying, I looked at the signs posted with the menu. Nuoc mia was $3.49. $3.49 times two... is.... not $8. I guess he took me for a fool cuz I don't look very Vietnamese-y. Like an ABC but the Vietnamese equivalent. I debated whether I should ask for the $1 back, but I decided not to. My mom told me I was stupid when I got home. I didn't intend to tell her the price, but... eh, long story. My mom just likes to complain about small stuff that Vietnamese moms would all complain about. I got frustrated listening to her, asking, "Do you want it or not?" cuz she thinks I didn't go to the right store blah blah blah. My dad just told my mom to forget about it and that she didn't even tell me where to get it so how would I know blah blah blah. I went upstairs to my room and found I was sucking on air through my straw. I opened my cup of nuoc mia and found that 3/4 of the cup was packed with ice.
Stupid grand century.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Not Too Bad
Nat King Cole - Autumn Leaves (French)
I absolutely love this song in this version from this singer. I can't find the French version anywhere except for Pandora, so I can only hope the luck is on my side to hear it.
This weekend turned out to be a lot better than I'd expected.
I went to my first Friday chemistry lecture of the quarter and went to Sacramento with my parents to visit family since we weren't able to do so before Tet. I was really dreading it because I never love going to Sacramento; I usually find myself just sitting around, staring off. It's not horrible, but since we were going to stay the night also, I grumbled a lot. Antoine's birthday party was also that night, so I was a little bitter that I was going to miss it after not hanging out with him for about.. 4 years?
At around 4:30, we arrived at my grandparents' house at which we were going to also stay the night. There was going to be a family dinner at my aunt's in the evening, so I had a lot of time to kill. My uncle, Bac Tien, served me pho after bragging about how his pho is hella bomb (though not in those words). It was... pretty bad. My parents agreed with my thoughts, but of course, none of us said it aloud. My mom made a few comments on how it wasn't sweet enough and that it was too salty. I'm not sure if it was the saltiness that got me; I can't describe it correctly, but it tasted to me like it came from a powder and more water needed to be added.
The family dinner was alright. I'm pretty indifferent to most things. The food was fine to me. We were having hot pot with noodles, and I didn't think the broth was very flavorful and there was some weird additional dip for whatever was cooked in the hot pot, but I thought it was okay. My parents corrected me in the car during the trip back home the following day by saying it was some of the worst they'd ever had. Whoops. Anyway, I hung out with my cousins a bit. We played Apples to Apples and Cranium. I'm usually pretty competitive, but I was tired and playing with mostly 12 year olds. My cousin, Thuy Linh, is pretty chill. She's 12 years old, I think, but she was a painnnnn when she was a little kid. Now she's pretty cool, but I can't say the same for all of her friends. I don't mean to pick on little girls, but two of her friends whose names I forgot seemed really... stupid, and it's not just because they were both on the opposing team haha. They just acted very dimwitted and kept messing up Cranium. For example, if you're supposed to draw and try to get your teammates to guess the word/phrase, your teammates can't see the word on the card because.. obviously, they're supposed to guess! They kept showing each other the card and looking at the answer while my team kept yelling at them to stop fucking up (again, not in those words).
One of my cousins who is a year younger than me, Thuy Dan, is cool to talk to. I'm not close to any of my cousins, regrettably, but we always have okay small talk, though I hate small talk. Anyway, she has a new boyfriend who goes home with her every weekend she goes home from UOP, I guess. At first glance, I thought, She could do better. I didn't talk to him, but he seems alright in the average, unspectacular way (I try not to judge..). She left her house early with her boyfriend to go to a hotel to stay with his parents who were visiting from LA. According to my aunt, his parents asked Thuy Dan to stay with them for a night. Call me traditional, but that's just absurd. Maybe if they all went vacationing together, that would be reasonable to stay with the boyfriend's parents, but she left home to stay at a hotel with them. I can't really put my finger on it, but I find it weird. What surprised me most was that my uncle and aunt approved. I guess my aunt has gotten soft, but I would've expected my uncle to immediately dismiss such a proposition. I thought it was really strange, but it's not my business, so I really don't care that much.
After returning to my grandparents' house, everyone went to sleep. I went back and forth through being asleep and being awake throughout the night because of random late-night conversations and texts with friends. The next morning, my parents and I made some rounds to different relatives' houses to say goodbye. We said bye to my grandparents, an uncle, an aunt, another uncle who wasn't at home but at my grandparents', my grandparents again, my aunt's mom who isn't my grandma, then finally left! It was a long ordeal that spanned across 3 hours.
The best moments of being in Sacramento were when we were sitting around the table at my grandparents'. I don't have much to contribute to the family gossip, and I'm glad I don't have to get involved with that bullshit, but when the subject changed to something other than drama, I felt happy to just sit there and listen. I chimed in now and then, but I was happy listening to my grandparents. My grandma is still healthy mentally though it's hard for her to do much physically; my grandpa seems a lot healthier. He stopped talking after he moved to Sacramento and whenever he did talk, he was always distressed about something. This weekend, he was able to even joke a little. When I was saying bye to him, he started to get upset like he usually does, and I tried to hug him, but he didn't want me to and mumbled something about being a burden and wanting to die early. It sounds pretty dramatic, and hearing it isn't great, but he does that a lot, so we try to just smile and laugh it off, saying, "Don't be ridiculous." He continued to mumble and told me, "You know I love you, right?" I don't know, I just felt sad. I think it's because all of my life, I've never really been able to express to my grandparents how much I appreciated them other than through elementary Vietnamese phrases, hugs and kisses, and stupid smiles. I think it was sad that he had to say that, as if I didn't know already.
When I got home yesterday, I made Antoine a flan cake in memory of the days we used to be close and when he made one for my birthday and gave it to him last night. I forgot his mom was vegan, so I brought it to his house and she was like, "Ohh.. we'll take it from your heart, but we don't eat it." Antoine isn't a vegetarian, but his mom doesn't know. I felt really stupid for forgetting. Epic fail. We still ate some in his room though. It was my first attempt at making flan cake. It was pretty good, but I think I had too much caramel, so each bite got closer to sickeningly sweet. We only managed to eat half, and flan cake isn't even filling, so that wasn't much. We watched Taken and Vicky Cristina Barcelona on his 30something inch LCD. I've seen most of Taken already since it's actually a somewhat old movie, but I wanted to see the whole thing on a big screen (I suggested seeing it in theatres, but he wanted to just watch it at his house). I really liked it; it was so badass. VCB was a little awkward to watch cuz of all the sensual scenes, but I got over it by the 3rd one. We also tried watching some TV shows and part of Chocolate, but it quickly became 6:30AM, so he took me home. By the way, sorry Larry for not being able to talk to you on the phone!
The end of my weekend is going to suck though. School work. Chemistry lab report time.
I absolutely love this song in this version from this singer. I can't find the French version anywhere except for Pandora, so I can only hope the luck is on my side to hear it.
This weekend turned out to be a lot better than I'd expected.
I went to my first Friday chemistry lecture of the quarter and went to Sacramento with my parents to visit family since we weren't able to do so before Tet. I was really dreading it because I never love going to Sacramento; I usually find myself just sitting around, staring off. It's not horrible, but since we were going to stay the night also, I grumbled a lot. Antoine's birthday party was also that night, so I was a little bitter that I was going to miss it after not hanging out with him for about.. 4 years?
At around 4:30, we arrived at my grandparents' house at which we were going to also stay the night. There was going to be a family dinner at my aunt's in the evening, so I had a lot of time to kill. My uncle, Bac Tien, served me pho after bragging about how his pho is hella bomb (though not in those words). It was... pretty bad. My parents agreed with my thoughts, but of course, none of us said it aloud. My mom made a few comments on how it wasn't sweet enough and that it was too salty. I'm not sure if it was the saltiness that got me; I can't describe it correctly, but it tasted to me like it came from a powder and more water needed to be added.
The family dinner was alright. I'm pretty indifferent to most things. The food was fine to me. We were having hot pot with noodles, and I didn't think the broth was very flavorful and there was some weird additional dip for whatever was cooked in the hot pot, but I thought it was okay. My parents corrected me in the car during the trip back home the following day by saying it was some of the worst they'd ever had. Whoops. Anyway, I hung out with my cousins a bit. We played Apples to Apples and Cranium. I'm usually pretty competitive, but I was tired and playing with mostly 12 year olds. My cousin, Thuy Linh, is pretty chill. She's 12 years old, I think, but she was a painnnnn when she was a little kid. Now she's pretty cool, but I can't say the same for all of her friends. I don't mean to pick on little girls, but two of her friends whose names I forgot seemed really... stupid, and it's not just because they were both on the opposing team haha. They just acted very dimwitted and kept messing up Cranium. For example, if you're supposed to draw and try to get your teammates to guess the word/phrase, your teammates can't see the word on the card because.. obviously, they're supposed to guess! They kept showing each other the card and looking at the answer while my team kept yelling at them to stop fucking up (again, not in those words).
One of my cousins who is a year younger than me, Thuy Dan, is cool to talk to. I'm not close to any of my cousins, regrettably, but we always have okay small talk, though I hate small talk. Anyway, she has a new boyfriend who goes home with her every weekend she goes home from UOP, I guess. At first glance, I thought, She could do better. I didn't talk to him, but he seems alright in the average, unspectacular way (I try not to judge..). She left her house early with her boyfriend to go to a hotel to stay with his parents who were visiting from LA. According to my aunt, his parents asked Thuy Dan to stay with them for a night. Call me traditional, but that's just absurd. Maybe if they all went vacationing together, that would be reasonable to stay with the boyfriend's parents, but she left home to stay at a hotel with them. I can't really put my finger on it, but I find it weird. What surprised me most was that my uncle and aunt approved. I guess my aunt has gotten soft, but I would've expected my uncle to immediately dismiss such a proposition. I thought it was really strange, but it's not my business, so I really don't care that much.
After returning to my grandparents' house, everyone went to sleep. I went back and forth through being asleep and being awake throughout the night because of random late-night conversations and texts with friends. The next morning, my parents and I made some rounds to different relatives' houses to say goodbye. We said bye to my grandparents, an uncle, an aunt, another uncle who wasn't at home but at my grandparents', my grandparents again, my aunt's mom who isn't my grandma, then finally left! It was a long ordeal that spanned across 3 hours.
The best moments of being in Sacramento were when we were sitting around the table at my grandparents'. I don't have much to contribute to the family gossip, and I'm glad I don't have to get involved with that bullshit, but when the subject changed to something other than drama, I felt happy to just sit there and listen. I chimed in now and then, but I was happy listening to my grandparents. My grandma is still healthy mentally though it's hard for her to do much physically; my grandpa seems a lot healthier. He stopped talking after he moved to Sacramento and whenever he did talk, he was always distressed about something. This weekend, he was able to even joke a little. When I was saying bye to him, he started to get upset like he usually does, and I tried to hug him, but he didn't want me to and mumbled something about being a burden and wanting to die early. It sounds pretty dramatic, and hearing it isn't great, but he does that a lot, so we try to just smile and laugh it off, saying, "Don't be ridiculous." He continued to mumble and told me, "You know I love you, right?" I don't know, I just felt sad. I think it's because all of my life, I've never really been able to express to my grandparents how much I appreciated them other than through elementary Vietnamese phrases, hugs and kisses, and stupid smiles. I think it was sad that he had to say that, as if I didn't know already.
When I got home yesterday, I made Antoine a flan cake in memory of the days we used to be close and when he made one for my birthday and gave it to him last night. I forgot his mom was vegan, so I brought it to his house and she was like, "Ohh.. we'll take it from your heart, but we don't eat it." Antoine isn't a vegetarian, but his mom doesn't know. I felt really stupid for forgetting. Epic fail. We still ate some in his room though. It was my first attempt at making flan cake. It was pretty good, but I think I had too much caramel, so each bite got closer to sickeningly sweet. We only managed to eat half, and flan cake isn't even filling, so that wasn't much. We watched Taken and Vicky Cristina Barcelona on his 30something inch LCD. I've seen most of Taken already since it's actually a somewhat old movie, but I wanted to see the whole thing on a big screen (I suggested seeing it in theatres, but he wanted to just watch it at his house). I really liked it; it was so badass. VCB was a little awkward to watch cuz of all the sensual scenes, but I got over it by the 3rd one. We also tried watching some TV shows and part of Chocolate, but it quickly became 6:30AM, so he took me home. By the way, sorry Larry for not being able to talk to you on the phone!
The end of my weekend is going to suck though. School work. Chemistry lab report time.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
AIM Adventures #1
[15:43] 4: do u wanna cuddle
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: yah
[15:44] 4: wtf
[15:44] 4: really
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: ya
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: i'm actually talking to a friend about how today is perfect cuddle day
[earlier conversation]
[15:26] any: watcha up to?
[15:27] Mi Xao ngon: lying down in bed
[15:27] Mi Xao ngon: aloneeee
[15:28] Mi Xao ngon: this is one of those days where i wouldn't mind sleeping all day with someone
[15:28] any: ahahaha
[/end earlier conversation]
[15:45] 4: do you have a book to read too
[15:45] Mi Xao ngon: ?
[15:48] 4: like we can cuddle
[15:48] 4: and read a book too
[15:49] Mi Xao ngon: mm i'm not gonna cuddle with you
[15:49] 4: oh
pwned.
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: yah
[15:44] 4: wtf
[15:44] 4: really
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: ya
[15:44] Mi Xao ngon: i'm actually talking to a friend about how today is perfect cuddle day
[earlier conversation]
[15:26] any: watcha up to?
[15:27] Mi Xao ngon: lying down in bed
[15:27] Mi Xao ngon: aloneeee
[15:28] Mi Xao ngon: this is one of those days where i wouldn't mind sleeping all day with someone
[15:28] any: ahahaha
[/end earlier conversation]
[15:45] 4: do you have a book to read too
[15:45] Mi Xao ngon: ?
[15:48] 4: like we can cuddle
[15:48] 4: and read a book too
[15:49] Mi Xao ngon: mm i'm not gonna cuddle with you
[15:49] 4: oh
pwned.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Thoughts
Fat Joe - Make It Rain (Remix)
The only song in which I can stand Lil Wayne.
I really hate Lil Wayne. I hate that he thinks he's the best rapper alive when he is so far from that. Suck my dick.
I was dating this guy and I still like him, but he likes his ex now. Worst luck evar. He still hugs me and kisses me on the cheek though. Should I be a bitch? Wouldn't that make him not like me..? Actually, I think I have don't have a chance anymore because I think he's already talking to his ex. Errrrrrggghhh. I'm lousy at getting over guys.
This guy who used to like me texts and IMs me now and then. I told him that I don't ever want to speak to him again a long time ago, but he still reaches out to me sometimes randomly. Should I tell him to shut up and fuck off? Note: He had a girlfriend who he is still with and probably still goes around cheating on her/ dating on the side. I just want to put him in his place because who he is he to think that he can do that? It's not a big deal though, so I've just been ignoring him so far. I hate that these guys I don't want to talk to ever again keep trying to talk to me.
Tracy just showed me this stream. Hella cute.
Free TV Show from Ustream
The only song in which I can stand Lil Wayne.
I really hate Lil Wayne. I hate that he thinks he's the best rapper alive when he is so far from that. Suck my dick.
I was dating this guy and I still like him, but he likes his ex now. Worst luck evar. He still hugs me and kisses me on the cheek though. Should I be a bitch? Wouldn't that make him not like me..? Actually, I think I have don't have a chance anymore because I think he's already talking to his ex. Errrrrrggghhh. I'm lousy at getting over guys.
This guy who used to like me texts and IMs me now and then. I told him that I don't ever want to speak to him again a long time ago, but he still reaches out to me sometimes randomly. Should I tell him to shut up and fuck off? Note: He had a girlfriend who he is still with and probably still goes around cheating on her/ dating on the side. I just want to put him in his place because who he is he to think that he can do that? It's not a big deal though, so I've just been ignoring him so far. I hate that these guys I don't want to talk to ever again keep trying to talk to me.
Tracy just showed me this stream. Hella cute.
Free TV Show from Ustream
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Lazy Sunday
I was extremely lazy today. Hopefully I'll be productive over the next couple of hours.
My day started by waking up at 1PM. I hate doing that when I intend to get a lot of work done, cuz it's just no way to start. I was going to go to MLK to study and do homework, and I didn't. I stayed at home doing nothing instead :[ Then I went to a birthday dinner at Hukilau. I've never eaten there before and I didn't like it that much. Too much gravy on my tonkatsu with barely enough rice. I've never really eaten Hawaiian food before. Everyone used to always go to L&L, but I still have never tried it, and especially after today, I don't want to. Call me crazy, Larry.
Now I'm uselessly blogging. Nothing important or interesting on this end of the Internet. Just bored -_-. I should definitely use all this wasted time on my UC applications instead..
My day started by waking up at 1PM. I hate doing that when I intend to get a lot of work done, cuz it's just no way to start. I was going to go to MLK to study and do homework, and I didn't. I stayed at home doing nothing instead :[ Then I went to a birthday dinner at Hukilau. I've never eaten there before and I didn't like it that much. Too much gravy on my tonkatsu with barely enough rice. I've never really eaten Hawaiian food before. Everyone used to always go to L&L, but I still have never tried it, and especially after today, I don't want to. Call me crazy, Larry.
Now I'm uselessly blogging. Nothing important or interesting on this end of the Internet. Just bored -_-. I should definitely use all this wasted time on my UC applications instead..
Sunday, November 02, 2008
An Interesting Night
Stars - Reunion
First song to play on my Pandora. Somewhat fitting, at least the title is.
Wow, I haven't been on this thing for a long ass time. It's been almost a year since my last post. After reading Larry's blog, I felt like posting. *shrug* I guess I've changed a lot in a year. I should have, at least. My last post was such a downer.. Well, I don't plan on keeping this long, so maybe I should skip all the updates and go over my Halloween night. It'll probably a more interesting read for Larry, the only person who would read this. :]
My Halloween night began at a friend's birthday/ Halloween party. I'll be frank. It was pretty boring. Before I even left the house, I knew it wasn't going to be great. I don't know why I didn't go with my friends to Berkeley to party. I guess I just thought it was too far. After staying for what seemed a polite duration (if there is such thing), Phillip (my ride) and I left. On the way back, I called Leland to see if he was still planning to go to Berkeley to party (a separate party from my friends' plan) with Larry. He didn't go yet and didn't care about sneaking out, so we were on our way. Yay, spontaneity. We got to Larry's "penthouse" with little misdirection and surprised him. Seeing some high school friends I haven't seen in a while was cool too.
The place was packed! I had to excuse me-sorry my way through many rooms and hallways, one in which I got fingered. Some sick bastard decided to just run his finger up my skirt. [TANGENT&RANT] I swear I knew who the fool was as it was happening to me. There was a guy close to me, creepily staring at me as it happened as if he was waiting for a positive reaction. I should've just punched the 3 guys (alright, maybe it was a girl.. whatever.) closest to me, but I just decided to move through the crowd. [/END TANGENT&RANT]
Despite all the people, I didn't meet many new people; I just hung out with the people I already knew from middle and high school, most of whom were the hosts. I'm usually very social at parties, but I guess it's because I have a shorter attention span when I drink, so I just talk to whoever's next to me. I met some of Larry's Oakland friends. One was a guy named Hieu who I talked to while getting jungle juice (and having strangers spill it all over me). He was grinding on me earlier that night (yes, greatness.. -_-). He was kind of cute, I think. I can't really remember now, but what I do remember is my friend, Simrunn, catching up with me, standing in between Hieu and myself, talking to me a lot about who knows what, Hieu eventually walking away, and my getting cockblocked (or.. kittyblocked, rather. whatever.) I thought that was a little funny. At the end of the night, all we exchanged were names and and a hug. Disappointing.
What was also funny, and a little awkward, was Robert Chao hitting on me. Yup. I honestly see him as a brother at most. He was wrapping his arms around me and saying I was his main girl and that he no longer had a girlfriend (which was a lie, haha). I think it was a mix of him being drunk and my costume being somewhat of a catalyst, not to say it was great, but it called for some of that attention, I guess. Everytime a guy said he liked it or that he loved me, I just replied, "Yah, I know." I don't like to stop for fools.
I surprisingly had a lot of fun. The surprising element is that I was sober. Sober fun at a party. I probably would have had a lot more fun if I drank.
This post was long. I give up.
First song to play on my Pandora. Somewhat fitting, at least the title is.
Wow, I haven't been on this thing for a long ass time. It's been almost a year since my last post. After reading Larry's blog, I felt like posting. *shrug* I guess I've changed a lot in a year. I should have, at least. My last post was such a downer.. Well, I don't plan on keeping this long, so maybe I should skip all the updates and go over my Halloween night. It'll probably a more interesting read for Larry, the only person who would read this. :]
My Halloween night began at a friend's birthday/ Halloween party. I'll be frank. It was pretty boring. Before I even left the house, I knew it wasn't going to be great. I don't know why I didn't go with my friends to Berkeley to party. I guess I just thought it was too far. After staying for what seemed a polite duration (if there is such thing), Phillip (my ride) and I left. On the way back, I called Leland to see if he was still planning to go to Berkeley to party (a separate party from my friends' plan) with Larry. He didn't go yet and didn't care about sneaking out, so we were on our way. Yay, spontaneity. We got to Larry's "penthouse" with little misdirection and surprised him. Seeing some high school friends I haven't seen in a while was cool too.The place was packed! I had to excuse me-sorry my way through many rooms and hallways, one in which I got fingered. Some sick bastard decided to just run his finger up my skirt. [TANGENT&RANT] I swear I knew who the fool was as it was happening to me. There was a guy close to me, creepily staring at me as it happened as if he was waiting for a positive reaction. I should've just punched the 3 guys (alright, maybe it was a girl.. whatever.) closest to me, but I just decided to move through the crowd. [/END TANGENT&RANT]
Despite all the people, I didn't meet many new people; I just hung out with the people I already knew from middle and high school, most of whom were the hosts. I'm usually very social at parties, but I guess it's because I have a shorter attention span when I drink, so I just talk to whoever's next to me. I met some of Larry's Oakland friends. One was a guy named Hieu who I talked to while getting jungle juice (and having strangers spill it all over me). He was grinding on me earlier that night (yes, greatness.. -_-). He was kind of cute, I think. I can't really remember now, but what I do remember is my friend, Simrunn, catching up with me, standing in between Hieu and myself, talking to me a lot about who knows what, Hieu eventually walking away, and my getting cockblocked (or.. kittyblocked, rather. whatever.) I thought that was a little funny. At the end of the night, all we exchanged were names and and a hug. Disappointing.
What was also funny, and a little awkward, was Robert Chao hitting on me. Yup. I honestly see him as a brother at most. He was wrapping his arms around me and saying I was his main girl and that he no longer had a girlfriend (which was a lie, haha). I think it was a mix of him being drunk and my costume being somewhat of a catalyst, not to say it was great, but it called for some of that attention, I guess. Everytime a guy said he liked it or that he loved me, I just replied, "Yah, I know." I don't like to stop for fools.
I surprisingly had a lot of fun. The surprising element is that I was sober. Sober fun at a party. I probably would have had a lot more fun if I drank.
This post was long. I give up.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
But I Couldn't Make You See It...
John Mayer - Slow Dancing In a Burning Room
Nobody's going to come and save you...
Kenneth and I broke up.
He was my perfect boyfriend, and he says I was his ideal (though I think that idea died long ago), but we weren't happy. He broke up with me, and I am still in love with him, but I don't think I was completely happy either. I'm sure he was less happy than I was though. I think I need a long time off to think about the things I really want, and whether whatever those are includes a relationship. I'm really sad that we broke up, but I think it's not only because I loved him, but also because I loved the thought of him. I'm still unclear about how I feel about this, but I just know that I'm grateful for Kenneth being my first love. And every time I think of him from now on, I'm going to beat myself up repeatedly with a mental bat for fucking up our relationship that I couldn't even dare to dream of.
Well, fuck.
Nobody's going to come and save you...
Kenneth and I broke up.
He was my perfect boyfriend, and he says I was his ideal (though I think that idea died long ago), but we weren't happy. He broke up with me, and I am still in love with him, but I don't think I was completely happy either. I'm sure he was less happy than I was though. I think I need a long time off to think about the things I really want, and whether whatever those are includes a relationship. I'm really sad that we broke up, but I think it's not only because I loved him, but also because I loved the thought of him. I'm still unclear about how I feel about this, but I just know that I'm grateful for Kenneth being my first love. And every time I think of him from now on, I'm going to beat myself up repeatedly with a mental bat for fucking up our relationship that I couldn't even dare to dream of.
Well, fuck.
Monday, September 24, 2007
I Hate Being Here.
Evan & Jaron - Distance
This will probably only consist of rants, so if you hate it when I whine, feel free to gtfo.
I'm trying not to think about it, and most of the time, I don't, but when I do, I realize that GODDAMN I am sad as hell.
Everyone's left, and I feel awkward. There are still some people here, but no one I feel close to (at least not anymore), and everyone has their own shit to do. I sometimes wish I went to SDSU just to be closer to everyone in SoCal. It's not something I'd ever do because even I think that's silly, to go to a school I don't want to go to just for other people, but I really hate being here now.
"Everyone" that's left includes Kenneth. It's only been a couple days, but I still haven't even gotten to really talk to him. I didn't mind at first cuz I can understand that he's excited, but now, I feel so fucking sad that I can't stand it anymore. Of course, I'm not going to bother to even tell him cuz, for one, he's too busy, and two, why should I make him feel bad just cuz he did better than me in school and left? I have no right; it just makes me want to get over him, though. I'm sick of waiting to talk to him all the time, and I'm not going to whine to him about not giving me enough attention, so I'd rather just end it. Call me extreme, but shit, I'm sad as fuck. I know I'll see him soon enough, but just seeing him isn't enough. I'm still trying to think that it's all because he's just moved in and he's going out since he doesn't have school yet. I'm sure it's not even as bad as I might make it sound, but I keep getting closer to becoming depressed that I just don't want to worry about it anymore. Even though I didn't want it to, my world pretty much revolved around him, and now, I'm down in the pits. Fuck it.
What makes me more mad about my situation is that I'm at school with all these other people from high school that didn't even fucking try, and I'm at the same level as them now at this damn college. Fuck. I know it's my own fault for being such a stubborn motherfucker about studying and/ or even trying in high school, but this fucking sucks. Why the fuck am I here. Fuck this shit. God, I wanna just crawl into bed and never get out. I have no fucking motivation cuz I have no idea what the fuck to major in, and it's gonna take two years to transfer.... that's fucking long. God. I don't want to even try (Yah, I must be really stubborn and stupid to say that) cuz I don't think I can push myself for two years in this banal shithole.
Rant rant rant raaannttt. Second day of school tomorrow at "college." Whatever. I feel so out of it that I don't even know how I'm going to get up tomorrow. I was having trouble sleeping last night till 2 AM, and the only person who was there for me wasn't even Kenneth. Hah.
This will probably only consist of rants, so if you hate it when I whine, feel free to gtfo.
I'm trying not to think about it, and most of the time, I don't, but when I do, I realize that GODDAMN I am sad as hell.
Everyone's left, and I feel awkward. There are still some people here, but no one I feel close to (at least not anymore), and everyone has their own shit to do. I sometimes wish I went to SDSU just to be closer to everyone in SoCal. It's not something I'd ever do because even I think that's silly, to go to a school I don't want to go to just for other people, but I really hate being here now.
"Everyone" that's left includes Kenneth. It's only been a couple days, but I still haven't even gotten to really talk to him. I didn't mind at first cuz I can understand that he's excited, but now, I feel so fucking sad that I can't stand it anymore. Of course, I'm not going to bother to even tell him cuz, for one, he's too busy, and two, why should I make him feel bad just cuz he did better than me in school and left? I have no right; it just makes me want to get over him, though. I'm sick of waiting to talk to him all the time, and I'm not going to whine to him about not giving me enough attention, so I'd rather just end it. Call me extreme, but shit, I'm sad as fuck. I know I'll see him soon enough, but just seeing him isn't enough. I'm still trying to think that it's all because he's just moved in and he's going out since he doesn't have school yet. I'm sure it's not even as bad as I might make it sound, but I keep getting closer to becoming depressed that I just don't want to worry about it anymore. Even though I didn't want it to, my world pretty much revolved around him, and now, I'm down in the pits. Fuck it.
What makes me more mad about my situation is that I'm at school with all these other people from high school that didn't even fucking try, and I'm at the same level as them now at this damn college. Fuck. I know it's my own fault for being such a stubborn motherfucker about studying and/ or even trying in high school, but this fucking sucks. Why the fuck am I here. Fuck this shit. God, I wanna just crawl into bed and never get out. I have no fucking motivation cuz I have no idea what the fuck to major in, and it's gonna take two years to transfer.... that's fucking long. God. I don't want to even try (Yah, I must be really stubborn and stupid to say that) cuz I don't think I can push myself for two years in this banal shithole.
Rant rant rant raaannttt. Second day of school tomorrow at "college." Whatever. I feel so out of it that I don't even know how I'm going to get up tomorrow. I was having trouble sleeping last night till 2 AM, and the only person who was there for me wasn't even Kenneth. Hah.
Monday, January 08, 2007
I Feel Like I'm Shrinking..
Copeland - Love Affair
(zomg. I'm in love with this song. Awesome how I didn't make a corny pun with the song title and all, right? I know.)
Over my Christmas break, I got to see Duy again after a couple of months. Thinking about it, he wasn't gone for that long, but it really felt like forever. We ate, hung out, ate, played piano, went to MGL where he met Kenneth, got 8 tubes of Gummy Choco and a big box of Hello Panda, and... well, not much. I don't know, but it was really nice just seeing him and being able to talk to him.
He left for KS, and soon, he'll leave for Afghanistan.
It's in a couple of weeks, he says. He told me to go to sleep when he woke me up at 3 AM this morning with a call. All he was feeling, I couldn't comfort him. He wouldn't let me.
I hope it's not what he says.. but by the way he talked the night before he left, I feel like he's prepared me, though I know I'm not even close.
.. as I'm waiting for him to leave.
(zomg. I'm in love with this song. Awesome how I didn't make a corny pun with the song title and all, right? I know.)
Over my Christmas break, I got to see Duy again after a couple of months. Thinking about it, he wasn't gone for that long, but it really felt like forever. We ate, hung out, ate, played piano, went to MGL where he met Kenneth, got 8 tubes of Gummy Choco and a big box of Hello Panda, and... well, not much. I don't know, but it was really nice just seeing him and being able to talk to him.
He left for KS, and soon, he'll leave for Afghanistan.
It's in a couple of weeks, he says. He told me to go to sleep when he woke me up at 3 AM this morning with a call. All he was feeling, I couldn't comfort him. He wouldn't let me.
I hope it's not what he says.. but by the way he talked the night before he left, I feel like he's prepared me, though I know I'm not even close.
.. as I'm waiting for him to leave.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It's Still Vacation
Copeland - I'm a Sucker for a Kind Word
On Friday, I went with Kenneth to his Joi Ying performance for a Vietnamese community thing for the new mayor of San Jose, Chuck Reed. It was pretty fun, though at first, I was really nervous. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know how to approach anyone. Zomg, so I just watched the cute little kids who were the demons. :D They performed their opening, but something happened and they didn't get to do their drunken lion part. We sat in the back and ate. I wasn't going to eat at first, but Kenneth's friend, Wilkent, started putting food on my plate. I still refused to eat, but he called over an adult (Iono if he was one of their sifu) and told him I wouldn't eat. I tried not to look at him, but he started tapping my shoulder, saying, "Excuse me." I slowly turned around with a meek "yes," and started getting grilled as to why I wasn't eating: Why aren't you eating? You're not hungry? The food's not good enough for you? You want some McDonald's?... eek. He then called a waiter over and told him in Chinese that I didn't think the food was good enough. The waiter asked if I needed lobster to eat. T__T So embarrassing. I told them I'd eat, and the guy told me that I was a guest and they had to pay for me. Aiyah..
Anyway, getting to know Kenneth's other friends was cool. At one point, I went to the bathroom, and Kenneth's friend, Brian.. Bryan(?), started mocking me. He was pretending to tie up his nonexistent long hair, and leaned his head on Kenneth. Kenneth told me that he pushed him away and Br_an threatened him with flicking. Spot on. -___-
I saw The Holiday. It didn't get great reviews, but I liked it.
I have plenty-o-tubes of Gummy Choco, which will run out quickly.
My state of mind is still in vaca-mode. Dammit. *shank*
On Friday, I went with Kenneth to his Joi Ying performance for a Vietnamese community thing for the new mayor of San Jose, Chuck Reed. It was pretty fun, though at first, I was really nervous. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know how to approach anyone. Zomg, so I just watched the cute little kids who were the demons. :D They performed their opening, but something happened and they didn't get to do their drunken lion part. We sat in the back and ate. I wasn't going to eat at first, but Kenneth's friend, Wilkent, started putting food on my plate. I still refused to eat, but he called over an adult (Iono if he was one of their sifu) and told him I wouldn't eat. I tried not to look at him, but he started tapping my shoulder, saying, "Excuse me." I slowly turned around with a meek "yes," and started getting grilled as to why I wasn't eating: Why aren't you eating? You're not hungry? The food's not good enough for you? You want some McDonald's?... eek. He then called a waiter over and told him in Chinese that I didn't think the food was good enough. The waiter asked if I needed lobster to eat. T__T So embarrassing. I told them I'd eat, and the guy told me that I was a guest and they had to pay for me. Aiyah..
Anyway, getting to know Kenneth's other friends was cool. At one point, I went to the bathroom, and Kenneth's friend, Brian.. Bryan(?), started mocking me. He was pretending to tie up his nonexistent long hair, and leaned his head on Kenneth. Kenneth told me that he pushed him away and Br_an threatened him with flicking. Spot on. -___-
I saw The Holiday. It didn't get great reviews, but I liked it.
I have plenty-o-tubes of Gummy Choco, which will run out quickly.
My state of mind is still in vaca-mode. Dammit. *shank*
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Here It Comes..
Broken Social Scene - Windsurfing Nation
December. All I can think of is getting sick, which I think I'm doing now. Hopefully not. Oh yah, yay! November's over. No more college apps and shit.
This week is the last week before Holiday Break. After that, everything will zoom by, and whoa, out of high school. I wonder what's going to happen..
I haven't been up to much. Nothing new. I just go to school, go to work, do homework, and go out now and then. I want to start doing things, though, like learn how to cook something. That was my goal in the summer, but I didn't do it. -___-
I've recently REALLY been wanting shoes. Well, I always did, but I just gave up before cuz I didn't want to use money, but now, I REALLY want them. =[ Nooo. I have to save up money. Finally almost back to 500.. =/ I was going to have over 1k once this year was over, but I didn't take Christmas into account. Who knew it was so damn expensive? (I really didn't think about it. Shush.)
I hate driving in the rain. I'd rather walk, or, more like me, twirl down the street, in the rain.
I really need to raise my grades. *bang bang*
I guess that starts with doing homework (it more starts with going to class, but that's only 1st period that I need to work on :D). Laaaate.
Scrubs *hart*. Check that shit on the side menu.
December. All I can think of is getting sick, which I think I'm doing now. Hopefully not. Oh yah, yay! November's over. No more college apps and shit.
This week is the last week before Holiday Break. After that, everything will zoom by, and whoa, out of high school. I wonder what's going to happen..
I haven't been up to much. Nothing new. I just go to school, go to work, do homework, and go out now and then. I want to start doing things, though, like learn how to cook something. That was my goal in the summer, but I didn't do it. -___-
I've recently REALLY been wanting shoes. Well, I always did, but I just gave up before cuz I didn't want to use money, but now, I REALLY want them. =[ Nooo. I have to save up money. Finally almost back to 500.. =/ I was going to have over 1k once this year was over, but I didn't take Christmas into account. Who knew it was so damn expensive? (I really didn't think about it. Shush.)
I hate driving in the rain. I'd rather walk, or, more like me, twirl down the street, in the rain.
I really need to raise my grades. *bang bang*
I guess that starts with doing homework (it more starts with going to class, but that's only 1st period that I need to work on :D). Laaaate.
Scrubs *hart*. Check that shit on the side menu.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I keep finding myself at the end of the week thinking, This was a horrible week. That sucks.
Michelle Branch! Whoo~
Where're my packages? Rawr.
I have to go to church today and then to dinner... Maybe I'll just drive myself so I can go home.
Whoa. Alicia Keys. What happened to her? Last I saw her in anything, it was in some horrible music video singing as a featured artist.
Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all, if it ain't you, baby, if I ain't got you, baby.
Michelle Branch! Whoo~
Where're my packages? Rawr.
I have to go to church today and then to dinner... Maybe I'll just drive myself so I can go home.
Whoa. Alicia Keys. What happened to her? Last I saw her in anything, it was in some horrible music video singing as a featured artist.
Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all, if it ain't you, baby, if I ain't got you, baby.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
I feel like smashing someone with my elbow
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack
(This is going to be on repeat allllllll day, cuz I have to make up a dance, or at least most of one, by tomorrow. Ah shiiieettt. *elbow*)
I just wasted about 3-4 hours of my Sunday, and I want them back. *elbow* I just chipped off some of my dignity by trying to be anything but what I want to be: a concise, blunt bitch. *elbow* Even now, I probably wouldn't be able to say no. *elbow*
Why the heck does JT start singing on the 8/8 count rather than 1/8? That little shit.
Screw it. It's sprinkling, it's gloomy, I'm in a bad mood, and I'm sick of SexyBack when homecoming hasn't even started. I'm gonna treat myself to some jazz. I think I deserve it.
Jazz singers totally understand chicks.
I had some green tea earlier. I feel kinda better cuz I woke up all snotty and funky in the throat, but I'm in a horrible, horrible mood.
And I'm a terrible person.
My emotions always turn into anger. I don't know why. I'm actually feeling a little sad, and a lot disappointed, but it just evolves into anger. So rawr. *elbow*
I'm gonna start staying indoors, with my J3 reader constantly by my side. Yah, SAT II's. I'm gonna get fucked over so well.
I want to rearrange my room. I hate how my couch isn't facing my computer. I also still need to hook up my stereo. This whole turning-on-the-computer-just-to-listen-to-music thing is not working out. Like now. I totally want to turn up the bass on my jazz, lie in bed or on my couch, and chill out. I could do that now, I know, but it's just not the same. When the computer's on, I don't like leaving it on for no reason. Blehhhhhh.
I still haven't eaten. *elbow*
I want to go play with my SLR.
Why am I so sensitive? *elbow*
I will save up $1,000 by the end of this year. I must.
You make me smile with my heart..
Ta-ta.
(This is going to be on repeat allllllll day, cuz I have to make up a dance, or at least most of one, by tomorrow. Ah shiiieettt. *elbow*)
I just wasted about 3-4 hours of my Sunday, and I want them back. *elbow* I just chipped off some of my dignity by trying to be anything but what I want to be: a concise, blunt bitch. *elbow* Even now, I probably wouldn't be able to say no. *elbow*
Why the heck does JT start singing on the 8/8 count rather than 1/8? That little shit.
Screw it. It's sprinkling, it's gloomy, I'm in a bad mood, and I'm sick of SexyBack when homecoming hasn't even started. I'm gonna treat myself to some jazz. I think I deserve it.
Jazz singers totally understand chicks.
I had some green tea earlier. I feel kinda better cuz I woke up all snotty and funky in the throat, but I'm in a horrible, horrible mood.
And I'm a terrible person.
My emotions always turn into anger. I don't know why. I'm actually feeling a little sad, and a lot disappointed, but it just evolves into anger. So rawr. *elbow*
I'm gonna start staying indoors, with my J3 reader constantly by my side. Yah, SAT II's. I'm gonna get fucked over so well.
I want to rearrange my room. I hate how my couch isn't facing my computer. I also still need to hook up my stereo. This whole turning-on-the-computer-just-to-listen-to-music thing is not working out. Like now. I totally want to turn up the bass on my jazz, lie in bed or on my couch, and chill out. I could do that now, I know, but it's just not the same. When the computer's on, I don't like leaving it on for no reason. Blehhhhhh.
I still haven't eaten. *elbow*
I want to go play with my SLR.
Why am I so sensitive? *elbow*
I will save up $1,000 by the end of this year. I must.
You make me smile with my heart..
Ta-ta.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
A Good Week
Mexican Institute of Sound - Mirando a las Muchachas
(No, it's not mariachi or any other horrible Mexican music you may think it is. It's actually more.. like electronic.)
I didn't love this week. First week of school with a Monday. Blech. My Bio class has a semi-permanent substitute, and she's nice and all, but she does the most useless shit ever. "So, what does science mean to you?" -_- I did horribly on my free responses in Calc BC. I'm the type of person who learns something for the year, then the next, clean slate. I remember the easy stuff, but I forgot volume, not to mention volume of a cross section, all the theorems, blah. Fuck you, Riemann. *shank* I swear, I'll find his grave and obliterate it. I keep seeing some motherfucker at school, and for some reason, I keep smiling and waving. Fuck that shit. (Ooo. Getting angry now.)
I started working part time, so I have more time for better things. I didn't need it, cuz I was still managing to get everything done, and I only stayed up out of boredom, but now, I have time for other things, like hanging out with the girls, or taking my mom out for lunch. And with the assurance that my mom doesn't have cancer, this has been a good week.
I got a Digital SLR. I'll post more about it later. Hopefully with some interesting pictures.
(No, it's not mariachi or any other horrible Mexican music you may think it is. It's actually more.. like electronic.)
I didn't love this week. First week of school with a Monday. Blech. My Bio class has a semi-permanent substitute, and she's nice and all, but she does the most useless shit ever. "So, what does science mean to you?" -_- I did horribly on my free responses in Calc BC. I'm the type of person who learns something for the year, then the next, clean slate. I remember the easy stuff, but I forgot volume, not to mention volume of a cross section, all the theorems, blah. Fuck you, Riemann. *shank* I swear, I'll find his grave and obliterate it. I keep seeing some motherfucker at school, and for some reason, I keep smiling and waving. Fuck that shit. (Ooo. Getting angry now.)
I started working part time, so I have more time for better things. I didn't need it, cuz I was still managing to get everything done, and I only stayed up out of boredom, but now, I have time for other things, like hanging out with the girls, or taking my mom out for lunch. And with the assurance that my mom doesn't have cancer, this has been a good week.
I got a Digital SLR. I'll post more about it later. Hopefully with some interesting pictures.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Hi.
Ken Oak Band - Summer's Kiss
(I love them so dearly.)
I was talking to a guy recently. At first, I was really skeptical, and I didn't really care much for it. Me care about guys? Not really. After a while, though, I started to like him a bit. Okay, I don't wanna explain the whole thing, so in the end: failed. Things just never work out for me with guys. I have really bad luck or something. Maybe I keep choosing the wrong ones, or maybe I drive them away. Don't know. I'm not trying to sound dramatic or anything, but really, why doesn't any of it work? I actually started liking him, and things were just lax... but I guess it was too laidback for me. Mehhhh. I need to go find some older guys. Holler at me. (I keed. Get away.)
School's alright. It kinda picked up work-wise, but I'm still handling it okay. The only thing that tired me out was work, but starting this week, I'm only working 2-3 days per week, so things should get better.
I retook my senior portrait today cuz they lost people's pictures or something. I didn't really like how I looked, but I just took it anyway. He said I was taking great pictures, but I'm sure they're required to say that.
I want to buy a new vacuum. I'm thinking of that one on the commercial where that British guy talks about bad suction. *Google*... Ah. Dyson. I also found out that they're hundreds of dollars. :D!... Dammit. I hate my vacuum. Maybe next year.. after senior year and my Japan trip. Ack ack ack.
I've had a deviantART account for a while, but I only just started doing stuff on there last week. My stuff sucks though, and I don't have much on there yet, but feel free to check it out. It's in my links area.
I'm gonna vacuum my car with my shit vacuum. Yayuh. (Or I'll watch movies like I planned to do today...)
Tch.
(I love them so dearly.)
I was talking to a guy recently. At first, I was really skeptical, and I didn't really care much for it. Me care about guys? Not really. After a while, though, I started to like him a bit. Okay, I don't wanna explain the whole thing, so in the end: failed. Things just never work out for me with guys. I have really bad luck or something. Maybe I keep choosing the wrong ones, or maybe I drive them away. Don't know. I'm not trying to sound dramatic or anything, but really, why doesn't any of it work? I actually started liking him, and things were just lax... but I guess it was too laidback for me. Mehhhh. I need to go find some older guys. Holler at me. (I keed. Get away.)
School's alright. It kinda picked up work-wise, but I'm still handling it okay. The only thing that tired me out was work, but starting this week, I'm only working 2-3 days per week, so things should get better.
I retook my senior portrait today cuz they lost people's pictures or something. I didn't really like how I looked, but I just took it anyway. He said I was taking great pictures, but I'm sure they're required to say that.
I want to buy a new vacuum. I'm thinking of that one on the commercial where that British guy talks about bad suction. *Google*... Ah. Dyson. I also found out that they're hundreds of dollars. :D!... Dammit. I hate my vacuum. Maybe next year.. after senior year and my Japan trip. Ack ack ack.
I've had a deviantART account for a while, but I only just started doing stuff on there last week. My stuff sucks though, and I don't have much on there yet, but feel free to check it out. It's in my links area.
I'm gonna vacuum my car with my shit vacuum. Yayuh. (Or I'll watch movies like I planned to do today...)
Tch.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Thoughts About the Mom
Umbrellas - Tests on My Heart
("And I don't want you to save me. What if you did? You'd succeed, and you'd be bored, and leave. I'd be back at square one, and it's such a bad place to begin." Yes, boys suck.)
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. She is the perfect shopping buddy. I know, she pays for my clothes, but not only that, she's not the type to linger around you, making you rush, or making you feel guilty for making her wait. She does her own shopping, but we're still able to help each other out. I especially like helping her.. (My mom has some odd fascination with lace. I'll just blame the Vietnamese genetics.) Anyway, we spent a lot of money, but I also bought her clothes and Jamba Juice. It wasn't anything in comparison to what she spent on me for clothes alone, but I still liked doing it anyway. It was my first time really getting her anything since I got my job. I buy her food and such, but I guess clothes are a bigger deal. When we were heading home from Oakridge, I was just sitting in the van, thinking, When she dies, I'm going to be so sad. I don't know why. I just thought about our bonding times, and how we barely argue anymore (We used to argue a lot more.). I guess I just came to thinking about that cuz we went to Sactown recently, and my grandpa has changed so much. He went from being jolly and healthy to scared and pale, since he moved to Sactown (Something we shouldn't have done). I got scared when I saw him, not cuz he was scary looking, but cuz I knew that soon.. So, I got to thinking about my mom. Everything I'm proud of about myself, I got from her. She's made me into the person I am, and I'm glad of it. When my morals get muddled, she helps clear them up (Such as the "Guys suck" morality). And no one cuts my hair like she does (I wouldn't really know since she's cut my hair all my life, but I like the way she cuts my hair). Imagining my life without her, I feel like I'd crash and burn. I wash the vegetables, she cuts them (I have no skills with the knife whatsoever. Fucking tomatoes.). She washes the clothes, I hang, dry, and fold them (Course, most of this is stuff that we did at the old house. Now that my unemployed aunt lives with us, she does pretty much everything.). I really don't know what I'm going to do without my mom. She tells people we're like sisters, and though it sounded funny to me at first, we really are, except that respect is still intact. Despite all my upsets and disappointments, she still manages to be proud of me. I never understood why, but I guess it's just a motherly thing. I'm really going to miss all the times we've had, and will have, together. It scares me to think that she won't always be here.
I'm gonna stop thinking about that. Gah.
I have to take my senior portrait again cuz their camera messed up or something. I have another chance to not do my hair and throw own some make up.. maybe I should actually try this time. Who knows.
I love Ken Oak Band. The lyrics to their newest song, taken from their site:
"trampoline"
i saw her bouncing on a trampoline
the grass was blue and the sky was green
angels' dust on the tips of her wings
it's like you've never seen
and you forget to breathe at all
her hair was flowin'
a cool wind was blowin'
i said 'hello there miss...'
you know you've really got a lovely smile
so would you give me a kiss
if i leaned in like this
i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
i could be your fantasy
all but the crown and cape
if you can show me some reality
there's only so much i can take
we can sip on some mushrooms in tea
anything you please
it doesn't faze me at all
my thoughts were clearing
her tone was endearing
she said 'you're good at this...'
my dreams were truthful to me all the while
so would you give me a kiss
if i leaned in like this
i won't tell nobody at at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody
then we stopped dancing
your hands in my hands and
my focus on your lips
and it's hard to resist when you're looking like this
the shape in your dress isn't too hard to miss
thunder and lightning and all this excitement is making me blind
but i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
("And I don't want you to save me. What if you did? You'd succeed, and you'd be bored, and leave. I'd be back at square one, and it's such a bad place to begin." Yes, boys suck.)
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. She is the perfect shopping buddy. I know, she pays for my clothes, but not only that, she's not the type to linger around you, making you rush, or making you feel guilty for making her wait. She does her own shopping, but we're still able to help each other out. I especially like helping her.. (My mom has some odd fascination with lace. I'll just blame the Vietnamese genetics.) Anyway, we spent a lot of money, but I also bought her clothes and Jamba Juice. It wasn't anything in comparison to what she spent on me for clothes alone, but I still liked doing it anyway. It was my first time really getting her anything since I got my job. I buy her food and such, but I guess clothes are a bigger deal. When we were heading home from Oakridge, I was just sitting in the van, thinking, When she dies, I'm going to be so sad. I don't know why. I just thought about our bonding times, and how we barely argue anymore (We used to argue a lot more.). I guess I just came to thinking about that cuz we went to Sactown recently, and my grandpa has changed so much. He went from being jolly and healthy to scared and pale, since he moved to Sactown (Something we shouldn't have done). I got scared when I saw him, not cuz he was scary looking, but cuz I knew that soon.. So, I got to thinking about my mom. Everything I'm proud of about myself, I got from her. She's made me into the person I am, and I'm glad of it. When my morals get muddled, she helps clear them up (Such as the "Guys suck" morality). And no one cuts my hair like she does (I wouldn't really know since she's cut my hair all my life, but I like the way she cuts my hair). Imagining my life without her, I feel like I'd crash and burn. I wash the vegetables, she cuts them (I have no skills with the knife whatsoever. Fucking tomatoes.). She washes the clothes, I hang, dry, and fold them (Course, most of this is stuff that we did at the old house. Now that my unemployed aunt lives with us, she does pretty much everything.). I really don't know what I'm going to do without my mom. She tells people we're like sisters, and though it sounded funny to me at first, we really are, except that respect is still intact. Despite all my upsets and disappointments, she still manages to be proud of me. I never understood why, but I guess it's just a motherly thing. I'm really going to miss all the times we've had, and will have, together. It scares me to think that she won't always be here.
I'm gonna stop thinking about that. Gah.
I have to take my senior portrait again cuz their camera messed up or something. I have another chance to not do my hair and throw own some make up.. maybe I should actually try this time. Who knows.
I love Ken Oak Band. The lyrics to their newest song, taken from their site:
"trampoline"
i saw her bouncing on a trampoline
the grass was blue and the sky was green
angels' dust on the tips of her wings
it's like you've never seen
and you forget to breathe at all
her hair was flowin'
a cool wind was blowin'
i said 'hello there miss...'
you know you've really got a lovely smile
so would you give me a kiss
if i leaned in like this
i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
i could be your fantasy
all but the crown and cape
if you can show me some reality
there's only so much i can take
we can sip on some mushrooms in tea
anything you please
it doesn't faze me at all
my thoughts were clearing
her tone was endearing
she said 'you're good at this...'
my dreams were truthful to me all the while
so would you give me a kiss
if i leaned in like this
i won't tell nobody at at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody
then we stopped dancing
your hands in my hands and
my focus on your lips
and it's hard to resist when you're looking like this
the shape in your dress isn't too hard to miss
thunder and lightning and all this excitement is making me blind
but i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
no i won't tell nobody at all
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Easy Peasy
Jon B. - I Do
(Love the old R&B. Not like now.)
love them.I'm a senior. It's hit me, but not that hard. I guess once events start happening (homecoming, rallies, etc.), then I'll realize it more, but as of now, my senior year is just.. whatever. It's easy, so easy that I still have free time even though I work 3 days, 5 days a week. I'm gonna be part-time starting next month or something though because of homecoming, and from there, I'm permanently part-time, so that's a whole bunch of free time. I still hate getting up in the morning.
Just came back from shopping-pho-dessert outing with Lisa and Christine. It's good to just hang out.. but man, am I full.
I have nothing else (that I want to say), and I want to keep my posts short, so I'm out.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Victoria Loves Me
.. And I should really be doing homework. -_- (Note: This is old. It was my first, and thus far, my only, attempt at vector art.)
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