Sundays

John Coltrane - Everytime We Say Goodbye

On Sundays, I feel so lazy, eager, aware, lost.. it all just dissolves together and I get really dull, calm, and pretty emotionless. Today, it's another one of those "Now would be a good time to have a boyfriend" moments. There's someone in particular, but eh. It's strange though, I barely even liked this person, but I still miss them anyway. I guess it's cuz of the lack thereof that I notice how convenient it was. Not just "convenient," but just nice in general. It wasn't serious, but I guess I got a little attached anyway. I also think it's the fear that no one can like me. I don't even know why this person liked me, if they did at all. Er, let's say, I don't know why they were interested at all.

I just find it interesting how in such little time, there's already things that pop up to remind me.

I have horrible timing. My birthday? Erg.. this sucks. I digress.

Anyway, it's only a couple weeks till I go to Japan. I expect it to be fun, but I'm just scared of talking to my host's family. For 3 days, I'll be staying in a hotel with the class, but for 4 days, I'll be alone with a Japanese student and his/her family. One thing that makes me worry most is how I'll be showering. I think I can manage with the bucket and water faucet, but I will probably take a long time. I hate taking long showers at people's houses, or in this case... baths?, cuz I feel like I'm being a bother. What if I can't eat their food? I think I should be okay, but what if they bust out the eel or something? I've never eaten eel before, I don't think. I'd just eat it to be polite, but what if I try and I eat it wrong or I can't swallow it? Ahh. I think the general fear is not to be rude. That'd kill. Some people are worried about us running into tsuyu season (rainy season in the Asian area.. rain, heat, humidity, blah blah), but I actually want to experience it. It seems interesting. And if you know me, I love rain. I love walking/ running in it, so tsuyu would actually be interesting for me.

So I totally forgot this window was open, and I'm too lazy to blog now. Later days.