Illusions and Viruses

Park Mook Hwan - "Chun Gook Eh Gi Uk" (Stairway to Heaven)

I think I might actually be going crazy. I think that any moment, there's going to be someone at my doorway or that if I turn around, someone will be there. If that's not crazy, I can't imagine what is.

I wish I could empty out my brain sometimes and start over.. like reformatting or something. Start fresh. Forget everything and everyone. Makes me think of "Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Sure, there was a lesson at the end, a moral, that it's better to enjoy those memories than lose them, but I really don't believe that. Iono.. I guess I just don't believe that b.s.

I really want a car at times like these, but where would I go?

And so I burst.

Crazy Week

Daphne Loves Derby - Hammers and Hearts (the MV)

Last week was pretty crazy.
On Tuesday, I was supposed to get my permit, but I went to SF with Don, Cristal, and Wilson instead. Don drove. Yes, it's amazing I'm even alive to tell you the tale. So he was swerving into all the lanes, thinking it would save him billions of time, which it didn't. I'll be blunt, he's a horrible driver. Not that he can't drive, but he just has the worst ideas ever. We went around Fisherman's Wharf (got myself a clam chowder in a bread bowl ^-^) and went to Haights St. I didn't get anything, but there were some interesting things. After, we had a lot of bad, bad detours and stops. Gah.

On Wednesday, I was supposed to get my permit, but when I went to the DMV, they said I had the wrong birth certificate. Gah! Lisa even told me about how that happened to her before, and I still got the wrong one. I was going to go back and forth and take it, but I had a dentist appointment, so we didn't know if I'd have time cuz the wait at the DMV could be long. Later, John and I went to the dentist, then they said that our appointment wasn't till the next day. GAH! Waste of a day.
On Thursday, I went to the DMV, still tired although I showered to try and wake myself up. I didn't feel like brushing my hair although I even brought it into the car, so I just tied it up in a bun. After doing some stuff at the DMV, I got into another line that had a sign.. CAMERA. WHAT?! WE TAKE OUR PICTURES WHEN WE TAKE OUR PERMIT?!?! AHHH!! I didn't know what to do. When I was getting my fingerprint, signature, and picture, she told me to step back so she can take the picture. I decided to take out my hair. I took it out, shook it around, blah! She was waiting for it to print, then she started laughing.. loud.., and she said something to her co-worker. I only caught her saying, "only one shot.." Then she handed me my papers, including my picture. It was horrible. I look insane. T___T I don't want to pay to get it retaken either, but DAMMIT! After, I took my permit and passed with 4 errors. Didn't even study. I was scared they'd have the techinical stuff like fines, but they didn't. Thank goodness.

On Friday, I remember being really busy during the day for some odd reason and being ARGH! Later, people came over, we ate and had a BBQ, and we just hung out. We (the people who slept over and I) watched "Crash" on my computer and I teared again. I still love that movie. =] We stayed up till the morning just talking and laughing about nothing. I actually slept for maybe an hour, but it was a kinda half-asleep mode. Later, we slept at.. iono, 9? I did at least, but I woke up and went downstairs. I can't entirely remember why, but it was really hot in my room and it was a lot cooler downstairs. We ate, did a whole bunch of stupid nothing, and the last person finally left at around 8. Partied for over 24 hours. Aiyah.

That was my week. Nothing happened today except a lot of Daphne Loves Derby stuff. That MV makes me kinda love the lead singer, Kenny, and iono why. He's not hot, but something about how he acts or looks in there... x_x *shrug* Stu, the drummer, is pretty good looking, to me, but eh. THEIR ALBUM ON THE STRENGTH OF ALL CONVINCED COMES OUT TOMORROW! ME WANTS! They have all new songs on there except "Middle, Middle"... DAMN! THEY CAME TO SJ! BUT I COULDN'T GO! Actually, I could have, but that would've been sad for me to leave Kris' birthday party, although it wasn't great. >.>

I want to swim.

Planners

m-flo feat. Melody & Ryohei Yamamoto - "Miss You (Live)"

This whole week, it seems like any plans made just backfire. Annoying, it is. Gah. The one on my mind right now is the karaoke contest. Don had to quit, then Christian says he can't cuz he has plans (althought this was said weeks before x_x), Sarah wanted to quit, and Kenneth was indifferent. It's like no one else knows how to plan or organize anything. I hate having to plan everything. Sure, I did sign everyone up, but this was made weeks in advance, then Christian suddenly asks when it is, and he says he's busy? GAH! I don't even want to do it anymore. It was all just for fun, then all this crap happened. Ack! I still kinda want to do it for fun, but how the heck did it get so complicated? Screw it. aKJAHKkj;RKJSAH;KLGJN

So, today..
I had to plan a thing at my house so we can discuss karaoke. We found out (although we already knew) that none of us could sing. Ended in failure, but it was kinda fun just having people over.

Before that, Sarah and I went to the Y. We did Tai Chi. We were the only kids or young people there. There were people ranging from their 20's to 50's, but they all pretty much seemed to be regulars. Sarah and I were pretty lost cuz we came late, but I caught on okay. The teacher was nice, but he had some guy teach us since we were beginners. The other guy was.. kinda nice, but he seemed stressed with us. ^^; They told us to practice at home or else we'll forget cuz they only have it once a week. In the end, it was fun.

Now, I'm bored with nothing to do. Washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, got my GQ magazine, ... blah. I wish someone could come over. I feel lonely x_x. I'm home alone.. yah, NOW is one of those times it'd be great to have a boyfriend. Then I could get him to come over and I could just hug him all day.. night, whatever. >.> DAMN!

I think I should read or do some other sort of summer homework. I feel pathetic.

New-Found Appreciation

Switchfoot - 24

I just came back from LA a couple of hours ago. I'm pretty exhausted. I wanna sleep and all, but I really should try to read. I'm not even CLOSE to being half done with East of Eden. I think the whole writing notes in it is slowing me down a lot cuz I have to think about what's not THAT important and what seems key. Gah. I like to just read and not stop. Stupid note taking, reading logs, and all that crap. I'll remember the book, dammit! East of Eden is interesting, but taking notes kills it. Iono why, but it reminds me of "Crash" a lot. They give you different people and how their lives.. intertwine. Also, that one part.. [SPOILER *highlight to read*] where Alice tells Adam after he almost gets killed by Charles that Adam just needs to know him. She told Adam about how Charles gave her all these small gifts that she didn't think he'd even notice. She said that she'd look at Charles for a while after finding them and he'd give no sign that he'd done it, but the whole time, it was actually Adam who had given here the cinnamon pinks, half a stick of sealing stuff?, a feather, etc. Adam didn't say anything cuz he didn't want to kill her image of her son. [/SPOILER].. This is also another spoiler, but for "Crash". I doubt anyone will watch the film cuz I don't know many people who are into independent films, so just skip it if you don't want to read. [SPOILER] At the end of "Crash", this detective has to take his mom to see his now deceased brother who was found shot and apparently murdered. The mom is crying like crazy, screaming out. (Note: Throughout the film, she tells her detective son to go and find his brother who ran away, not really caring for her son who was by her side.) After she stops crying and yelling, she tells her detective son that her son came back while she was sleeping and brought her some groceries. I can't really recall, but I'm pretty sure she blamed her detective son for his brother's death because he didn't bring him home. She did blame him though. Anyway, it was her detective son who threw away her old, spoiled food and replaced it with new groceries while she slept. He didn't tell her. I thought it was pretty sad. [/SPOILER] Yah... so, East of Eden is interesting. =]

Now! To recap my weekend in LA. It's going to be a long post x_x Gah.
Friday: We were off to LA. It took us... maybe 8 hours? There was crazy traffic. I hate how LA is built. It's built from the inside and spreads out, so everyone's heading inwards and there's no escape. When we finally reached our hotel, we were to go eat with a family friend. Ah yes, right when you think there's enough car action, they stuff you in another one. -_- We ate at a restaurant.. one of those places where they give you a set of different dishes (I think the place we went to was 7 Mon Bo, meaning 7 dishes of beef). It was okay, but the guy paid for us, so no complaining. It was just boring cuz they kept talking and John and I just sat there. I did see this guy that looked okay, but I couldn't really see, so Iono. Mostly, I just kept on watching little kids run around or be handed around (you know how everyone wants to hold the baby -_-). I think that I think only Asian babies are cute. One thing I know is, I don't think white babies are cute. So yah, lotsa cute Asian babies and kids. "I thought you hate kids," you must be thinking. Yah, when they're annoying or something, then yes, I hate kids, but when they shut up and don't whine, then they're okay by me. When we got back to our room, we watched some TV, then slept. I shared a bed with my brother and he moves around like crazy. Not only that, he and my dad were snoring insanely loud. Thank God for my iPod.
Saturday: We went to Disneyland. We rode the Jungle Cruise (there was a hot guy! you can see a little bit of his head in the picture popping out behind the guy in black), Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Indiana Jones, Peter Pan, Snow White, some Buzz Lightyear ride, and some others I just can't seem to remember. There was a lot of jazz stuff going on. Bands, dancing, that sorta thing. There was this one college band.. man, that was really good. I always thought the cello sounded pretty, but this girl played this Duke Ellington song so well and I wished I knew what a cello was when I was 5. DAMN! I could seriously learn to love jazz. HART! <3) I could really loves swing, jazz, and the blues. ^^ They also had these new mosaics that were made of pictures taken with guests. I thought they looked pretty cool. Anyway, we stayed at Disneyland for a really long time. We ate dinner there at the French.. something. It wasn't that great. =/ Disneyland is known to have really good food, but I guess we picked the wrong place. -__- They had good jazz music there, but MAN! There was this stupid white lady (yah.. damn racism) who was behind me in line. I just wanted to go back to get a cup of ice cuz the cashier said I could, and she gave me that look. You know.. that glare, or otherwise known as "dogging." Her husband was nice to me and I was nice to him when he accidentally got ice in my food. Beach! I didn't do anything to you and your husband got ice in my food, so who's the one that should be bitchy? She even pushed our trays aside. Things like that make me even more racist. Yah, I don't think it's a good thing, nor do I take pride in being racist, but man, it's just so hard for me not to think, Fucking white people. I'm not racist where I stereotype all white people, but when a white person pisses me off, which is often, I get racist. See, I didn't care about her husband. Nice guy, but she was such a prick. Gah. John ran into an asshole too. We were in line for.. Peter Pan, was it? This lady had two small kids and they ran in front of John and the lady went with them. Yah, if we weren't already in line, then it wouldn't be cutting necessarily, just cutting off, but we were in the rails and everything. John asked her if she would please not cut and gave him a look as if he were rude. Wtf? (no, she wasn't white) My dad just told him to let her go first, but that lady glared at us as if we had done something wrong. I would've just let her go too, but the fact that she looked at us as if we were the ones who cut or something, that was pretty fucking stupid. GAH! STUPID PEOPLE ANGER ME! John did take it up the ass, but yah, he was made out to be stupid after saying something and having to back down. =/ I'd hate it too. Anyway (I get off track easily, huh?), we went on some other rides. My parents went on the carousel (I've never been on it, at least not that I can recall) and John and I waited. I was sitting alone and suddenly.. hot guy! He was by himself and by chance was standing in front of me. After looking at him a while, he looked at me. He walked back and forth by me. Yah, I should've gotten up and said something to him, but I've never done that sorta thing before. I'm a total n00b. =[ Then his family came and they walked away. I thought, DAMN! If only I said something! When my parents came out, we all walked toward some other ride and I saw him sitting on the side, looking at me. I doubt he was checking me out and only looked cuz we were walking by, but I yet again didn't go over to talk to him. Later, while my parents were watching FANTASMIC!, John and I went on the Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion. We were totally dancing in our haunted buggy. It was kinda funny. After, we were just walking around, waiting, I saw another hot guy! He had a nice body and a good face, but he gave off a weird feeling. Maybe it's cuz he was wearing a wife beater, showing that he knew he had a nice body. I like guys who have great qualities, but don't flaunt them. Later, we got back to the hotel, I read more East of Eden, and slept to my blasting iPod.
Sunday: We went to Universal Studios. The first ride we went on was The Mummy, at least for John and I. I told my parents that they probably shouldn't go with us cuz I didn't know if it'd be too much for them or not cuz of my dad's back and my mom's being prone to motion sickness. We went and it was pretty good. It's a ride mostly for film effects kinda stuff, but it does go forward and backward with some pretty sharp turns. I didn't think it was so bad, so I got my parents to go. when we were in the front of the line..

Worker: How many?
Dad: Three.
Worker: Row One.
Mom *walking hesitantly*: W..What? Row ONE?!
Me: .. It's okay.

We let her sit in the middle. Then.. off we went! When we stop the first time, it give the feeling that it's over, then it goes backward. When we were in the eclipse room where it ends, my mom was screaming, "Is it over?!" Yes, it was over. When we were to get out, my mom was frozen. I didn't see her face really, but my dad said she was in shock and her face was pale. He said the way she looked was scarier than the ride. That's pretty sad. =P When we finally helped my mom out of the entire building, she had to sit down, then lie down. My dad was trying to coax her, but he just kept laughing at her. It was pretty funny. x_x She kept on talking about it the whole vacation after that. After that, my dad and I went on Jurassic Park cuz my mom already went with my dad while John and I went on The Mummy the first time and John went while I was on the Mummy with my parents. My dad wanted to go again anyway, so we went. They added some new stuff, I think, like that car that leans over and drops. It freaked me out cuz it was right next to me. I thought, Oh, it's just going to lean over... OMG! WHY IS IT FALLING! AHHH! Yah.. everything was on my side. I got squirted and splashed by everything. We watched some shows (Waterworld was good) and just went on rides. We mostly went on those sit-in-a-moving-chair-with-a-screen-in-front-of-you rides, but it is Universal Studios, so it makes sense, right?

I don't think I'll ever finish this post. Too long. -_-

Maybe TOO Adventurous?

Maroon 5 - Through With You

Yesterday started out pretty crazy. Don, Chris N., Antoine, and I planned to go to La Victoria, but never decided on a time. I called people to check if they were still in the mood to go, but Antoine wasn't hungry and Chris was at his dad's shop, so it pretty much got cancelled. Thursday is also ballroom night at the Y, but that also got cancelled cuz Antoine wanted to watch "Taegukgi" (always nags at me for not watching it.. he even got Sarah to nag at me >.>). Then, "Taegukgi" got cancelled cuz Antoine didn't have a ride and he has the DVD, so everything got cancelled and I was to do absolutely nothing. x_x I tried to look for some grub, but nothing seemed as appealing as La Victoria. Damn, but an hour or two later, as I was nuking my Tostito nacho cheese, Don gave me a call and asked if we were still going to La Victoria. Obviously, Antoine didn't call Don like I told him to so Don would know everything was cancelled. I decided to tell him myself, but we decided to go anyway. I called Antoine, then he said he wanted to go (loser). So Don picked us up, and we were off! It took us a good hour or so to find our way (John said to turn left on San Fernando and go all the way down... LIES!). Finally, we decided to listen to Antoine and found our way (I knew my way the whole time! .__.). Yah, he tried to rub it in and all, but WHATEVAH, MANG! I got myself a Supreme Burrito and it hit the spot (but Antoine's constantly putting the orange sauce closer to him instead of the middle and grabbing it when I'm about to grab it made me impatient). I have been craving Mexican food for weeks. I've eaten a lot of Taco Bell, but it just doesn't fulfill my needs like La Victoria does. After we ate and talked some, we walked around downtown SJ <3 I'd really love living there. Those apartments over by the Martin Luther King Library look perfect. It's within walking distance to the library, Camera 12 (supposed to be for independent films, but they sold out, so they have Hollywood films too), Blockbuster (in case I don't want to watch any movies in the theatre), La Victoria, Ben & Jerry's, Quizno's, and probably a lot of other awesomely convenient places. I like being able to get around by just walking, but I don't want to be in a place where cars are unheard of. Downtown is very industrialized, but there's still a lot of people who just walk around and such. I like that. Anyway, after we walked around, we went to my house and hung out a bit. Antoine tried to make us watch "Taegukgi", but he failed. kekeke. I wanted to watch it, but pissing him off is just so fun. After they left, I told my dad I didn't want to go to LA cuz Vanessa couldn't come along anymore (long story). If I did go, it would've been just my parents and... me. My dad has an arthritic back and my mom is crazy prone to get motion sickeness, so that leaves my choices for rides down to.. my shadow. *yay on the inside, x], giddy fists*.. -_- My dad was disappointed and I guss I can understand why, but seriously, what can I do over there alone o_O? I wanna walk around at night, go scavenge for cool places, etc. Later, my mom came home and they talked to me. They ended up forcing John to go (he said he wants to go, but if he really did, why wasn't he just coming in the first place..). I do want to go, yes yes, but that just killed it. Iono.. I think John's just saying that to make me feel better, so what's so great about going with someone who doesn't want to be there? -_-

Let's talk about other things... My title. "Maybe TOO Adventurous?".. reason? Well, earlier this week, I went with George to TC Tea, but we got soo fricken lost (it wasn't my fault this time cuz he was the one who was supposed to print out/ write down the directions). We did finally get there, and it was fricken worth it (Dammit, oppa. I love the Taro pearl drink xP~). It seems like everytime I really try to get somewhere, I get lost. Maybe I take that song a little too much to the heart. Bleh. Well, I'm going to LA in maybe 6 hours? Not even sure, but I want to stay up late so I can sleep in the car, so I chose to blog. Feel free to expect a post this Monday or Tuesday. As for now, peace out! *peace sign* fui~

Getting Started

Lauryn Hill - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"

So I've decided to get Blogging again. Nothing to blog about for today, but yah.. after this weekend, I'll probably have stuff about my weekend in LA. Hopefully it goes well.

This template is plain, so I like it, but i wanna change it and make a banner or something. Gah.

Updates:
July 4th: Some of us (me, Tracy, Chris N., Victoria, Thanh, Nancy, Lisa, Don, Alan, Wilson, Antoine, Andrew, and Cristal.. and maybe anyone else I forgot x_x) went over to some bridge by Tammy's house with some snacks. We watched fireworks going off in downtown (we had a pretty good view of all of them), I had to sing to Don (karaoke contest, July 22 @ YMCA!.. but that was weird for me), some people left then came back, guys did some bad stunts, and we lit fireworks. The stunts they did were pretty... stupid. Pulling people up and letting people down from the bridge.. Hey! That reminds me. Antoine was lifting some people up, and Thanh totally said he had buns of steel. xD Ever since she first met him at Lisa's birthday last month, I got the feeling that she thought Antoine was freaking hot er something. I find that pretty funny (not cuz Antoine's ugly either..). It was pretty fun. Much better than doing nothing at home, anyway, but the end sucked. We still wanted to go out, then ended up just going home. Knew it would end that way, but blah.
July 5th: I realized I did NOTHING on my "I'm in the mood to:" list, soooo, I got Don and Antoine to go to Chris N.'s house to swim. I wanted to swim at night, so we tried to kill time by playing Halo on Cris' XBOX. I hate playing computer games on game systems like XBOX cuz you have to use the right analog (messes me up so much!), but I didn't get last. Antoine's a loser. pueheheh. We both had 15 deaths, but I had one more kill than him (I had 9 kills, he had 8). Stupid Chris pwned us all. It was 3 vs. 1, and he still won. BEACH! (beach = beetch = b.tch! Yah, I'm genius, I know. ^^) We got lazy to wait for night to come cuz nighttime doesn't actually come till about 9 PM, so we decided to just swim. It was a little chilly, but not so bad. The guys wresteled, made each other bleed, splashed like crazy, and I kinda floated in the corner, shivering. They tried to dunk me, which makes me get very paranoid. O__x Gah. After, we drove around for almost an hour trying to decide where to eat, then we ended up at Taco Bell, which was, what, maybe.. a 3 minute drive from Chris'? x_x We suck. Oh well, I got to go out. It was pretty fun. When Don was driving us home, they were talking about "sharting". I've never heard of this, but I guess it's safe to assume it was made up by putting together "shit" and "fart". Their stories were nasty, yet funny, but I was just like, "Whhaaaa?!" cuz I've never even known about this cuz I've never done it. This "sharting" is supposedly really watery and... done in your pants. That is pretty bad, man. I won't share any of their embarrassing stories, but I bet you can guess who had the worst one. x]

So yah.. that should be enough to entertain you for today, neh? Hopefully Victoria has pics from July 4th, then I'll post them on here. At least the good ones. In the meantime, here's some random pictures (click to enlarge):

me in Ragnarok Online in some Christmas land.
(it says I'm in Lutie) LOOK! IT'S A PORING! <3

my desktop of the great Shane Taylor
(a.k.a. Eugene "Doc" Roe from BAND OF BROTHERS)

random picture
(can you guess what it is?)