Nobody's going to come and save you...
Kenneth and I broke up.
He was my perfect boyfriend, and he says I was his ideal (though I think that idea died long ago), but we weren't happy. He broke up with me, and I am still in love with him, but I don't think I was completely happy either. I'm sure he was less happy than I was though. I think I need a long time off to think about the things I really want, and whether whatever those are includes a relationship. I'm really sad that we broke up, but I think it's not only because I loved him, but also because I loved the thought of him. I'm still unclear about how I feel about this, but I just know that I'm grateful for Kenneth being my first love. And every time I think of him from now on, I'm going to beat myself up repeatedly with a mental bat for fucking up our relationship that I couldn't even dare to dream of.
Well, fuck.
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